Rebecca Baines

We explored the groups inner self

The piece began at 6pm on the dot on Wednesday 11th December 2013. We all started fully clothed, dressed in all black wearing high heels and with a full face of make up. This is us in our most comfortable state. We decided that we would not stand in any order or have set positions, and we were free to move around the space freely.  As the clock began to countdown, members of the group began to break themselves down, stripping themselves of whatever they felt comfortable with, piece by piece. As ‘audience’ members started to enter the space, we could either strip ourselves of more, or put items of clothing back on.

We had hoped that the people viewing the piece would feel in a state where they could explore the space as we did, but in actuality, they decided to stick to the edges of the space, with only a few choosing to take advantage of the sofa. They did, however, interact with the group members through speech and touch, often whispering words of support, or embracing us throughout the piece.

I have never been more proud to be part of a creative process, and I feel we worked well as a group to achieve our aims set out at the beginning of the semester. If we were to re-do the piece, I would choose to make the piece more durational, so we could evaluate how the audience and performers reacted differently over time. I would also like to see how the piece, and the idea of vulnerability in general, would change had we been part of a mixed sex group.

I feel our use of experiments as part of the process has led to us having a better understanding of the concept of vulnerability in general, and the fact that the piece changed so dramatically over time shows that we put a great deal of thought into the most effective way of portraying our initial ideas

 

 

 

We Tell the Truth

After experimenting so much on our physical vulnerability, we decided to explore mental vulnerability but not exclusively related to the group members. To achieve this, we asked people to write a question, based on the instruction that they should think of a time that they have felt most exposed/vulnerable and write down a question relating to it. We asked a wide range of people in order to attempt to gain a conclusive example of general vulnerability, and put all the questions in a box, so they were anonymous.

For the experiment itself, we split the questions into six piles of equal numbers and answered them in front of a recording camera. We decided unfold the questions on film in order to get a more honest emotional response. The space in which we decided to film the questions was also based on our individual vulnerabilities. The two situations that seemed to recur throughout our conversation were in the bedroom, and in public. We therefore decided to film in a group members bedroom, and in a corridor in the LPAC, in which we knew the public would be frequently passing through.

chloe to camera

After going through all the questions, we realised that numerous topics occurred repeatedly, such as sex, relationships, your past and loss. We then realised that despite the wide variety of people asked, vulnerability seemed to revolve around a few common themes, though none of the questions delved deep enough into our specific vulnerabilities to make us feel truly exposed. We therefore re-wrote some of the questions, keeping the original idea but slightly changing the wording, and assigned them to specific people. The person answering the question had not seen it previously, ensuring we still got the honesty we initially set out to achieve.

 

We Discover Simplicity

In our tech, we went through the lengthy process of explaining to the technicians that we wanted six microphones, six spotlights, numerous audio clips, video projections in which we would show all the previous experiments, and photographs. We were planning on having a script, speaking in unison and reciting vulnerability in different languages and we were each going to represent a previous experiment.

Initial idea of the Performance space

Initial idea of the Performance space

Then we discovered simplicity.

We realised that if we included all these technical aspects, we would be able to hide behind them in the performance, and would therefore be ignoring our original aim of making ourselves vulnerable. It was therefore decided that we needed to strip back the superfluous additions in order to achieve any sense of exposure. It was stated in a previous experiment that an audience member decided not to take part, because she was able to hide in the large area around the performance space, and therefore felt distanced from the piece. This led to our decision to split the room in two using flats, and creating a smaller space for the performance to occur in.

Final Performance Studio Space Layout

Final Performance Studio Space Layout

We then decided to dismiss the idea of having a spotlight on each member of the group and replace them with a general wash. This also meant that the piece became less about ‘us’, and more accessible as an audience member, as we were all occupying the same space, in the same lighting and we decided to keep the video projection, but simplified it so it only contained the questions and answers mentioned in ‘We Tell the Truth’.

Through the simplification of the performance, we are able to definitively portray both mental and physical vulnerability. Mental through the video projection, and physical through our being in the space in the final performance.

We also decided to include a projection of a clock, counting down from 1:50:27 (the length of our piece) because having that as a constant reminder that we were running out of time would encourage us to push ourselves as much as possible in the time frame provided.

Much of our decision to simplify the performance is similar to numerous ‘Tableaux Vivants’ or Living Pictures by Vanessa Beecroft. Beecroft uses collections of girls, often wearing nothing but stiletto heels, all similar in height, build and appearance. In VB 45, Beecroft de-sexualised the girls by making the appear ‘vulgar’ in an attempt at critiquing the fashion industries objectification of women.

blog, beecroft

Fig.1      vanessa beecroft, vb45.007.dr, 2001, c-print

Though we do not share similar aims, the use of the naked form in a non sexual and simple manner is common .

Fig.1 available from http://www.museomagazine.com/#VANESSA-BEECROFT

We Invite an Audience

For our second experiment, we invited an audience to join us in looking at peoples perceptions of self. The group exposed themselves at varying stages of nakedness and drew on themselves the changes they would make to their body if they could create a perfect version of their form. We then stood in a line, with our eyes closed, and asked the ‘audience’ to graduate down the line, drawing on the changes they would make to each person. The most interesting thing we found was that everyone stuck to the pre drawn lines of each person when making their changes, and later described that choice as reluctance to offend people. Despite the additions being completely anonymous, the audience explained that they felt a sense of exposure and empathy when asked to complete the task, and felt they would be judged on their decisions. This relates to the sense of shame mentioned in an earlier blog, and a quote from Brené Browns’ speech entitled The Power of Vulnerability;

‘…shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection: Is there something

about me that, if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection?’ (TED 2011)

The group linked this idea with our notion of vulnerability, in that the most basic reason people feel vulnerable is because they are ashamed of themselves, and afraid of other people’s perception of them. We therefore found it interesting that the audience experienced this same apprehension of honesty or exposure when asked to complete a set task. This furthered our interest in the relationship between the performer and the audience, and has also increased our curiosity in the ability to make the audience empathise with us as performers, to the extent that they can fully experience the same emotions (vulnerability, shame etc.) as the group.

TED (2011) The Power of Vulnerability [online video] available from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o  [accessed 31 October 2013].

We Decide to Practice

Throughout our first few meetings as a group, we realised that when we thought about what made us feel vulnerable, we all made a direct link with exposure. This relates to both the exposure of our mental state (e.g. our opinions, our past, our secrets etc.) and physical exposure of our form.

It was decided that as a group of self conscious twenty something year olds, it would take some persuading for us to expose ourselves, both mentally and physically, and so we decided to do a number of experiments that will, eventually, form a large part of our piece. Our first experiment will be performed within the group, where we will play both the part of performer and audience, and we have decided to meet to test our initial levels of comfort with other members of the group. We will do this by firstly revealing ourselves physically, in the simple act of removing our clothes in front of the group, and then by exposing ourselves mentally, for which we will record an intimate conversation, or ‘heart to heart’ about our biggest insecurities, flaws and occasions on which we have felt most vulnerable. The recording will be edited and used as part of the audio background for our final performance.

 We decided that as a group we shared a mutual interest of blurring the lines between performer and audience, and this will form the base of many of our experiments. Whilst researching this idea, we looked at a lot of work by Marina Abramovic. Whilst studying Abramovic for previous modules, we have learnt that she often uses her pieces to explore the relationship between audience and performer, so for this piece, I looked extensively at Rhythm 0 and The Artist is Present, two of her works in which the distinction between audience and performer became so blurred it ceased to exist. The Artist is Present is particularly relevant to our piece as Abramovic doesn’t ask the audience to do anything in particular, and yet the entire performance relies on the audience member, and for a short period of time they were both occupying the space as performers, each of equal importance.

Another artist I found influential in my input towards the piece was Negin Vaziri, in particular her piece entitled Eternity Woman, described as an installation ‘…following the outlines of a female body and the enviroment in which it exists.’ (Vaziri, 2010) Vaziri embraces feminity throughout her work, yet is not aiming to portray the female form in a sexual manner, a theme which I feel is important to our piece.

Vaziri, N. (2010) Installations. [online] Available from http://www.neginvaziri.com/www.neginvaziri.com/INSTALLATION/INSTALLATION.html [Accessed  19 October 2013]